London, Part 4: JoJo runs wild

By Laura Grimes

The Pantsless Brother tried to make a dash for the bathroom this morning without getting dressed first. Too late! I see London, I see France …

As it so happens, he was taking the bullet train from London to Paris that very day.


I have reams to write about, but I’m just too pooped, so I’ll only post a few quick impressions to keep the LSBs happy.

JoJo found more friends, this time on a plaque near the Tower Bridge commemorating the 50th anniversary, or jubilee, of Queen Victoria’s reign. Can you find JoJo?

JoJo and a plaque commemorating Queen Victoria's jubilee


I attended a live broadcast of the BBC tonight — A Celebration for Ascension Day at St. Martin-in-the-Fields. I’ll have to write more about it later. In the meantime, give it a listen. Can you hear me singing?


Shhh! Be vewy vewy qwiet! Don’t tell the LSBs, OK? Today I happily haunted the tackiest souvenir shops known to civilization and (spoiler alert!) happily found some of the tackiest souvenirs known to civilization. Apparently murder and mayhem were on my checklist. I’m especially proud that I found a mini catapult that actually mini catapults and a model of a beheading … with moving parts!


Before I left Portland I bought a yellow windbreaker. But people in London uniformly and without exception wear dark clothes. Everyone. Everywhere. So I stick out like a big banana. At least JoJo can find me easily when he continually goes off to search for friends to play with …

… Like more than 250 of these elephants that dot the city everywhere. They’re part of a public art exhibition designed to raise money and awareness about the plight of the animals. JoJo, of course, is thrilled. Here are just a couple that he’s played with. Can you find him?

Blue elephant

Yellow elephant

Red elephant


The Pantsless Brother made me check out this tonight. (Sorry the embedding video link doesn’t seem to be working.)

It’s the London Homesick Blues by Gary P. Nunn (forget the incorrect title on Youtube):


For all of you who want to strum your geetars and sing along, here are the unofficial lyrics:

Well, when you’re down on your luck,

and you ain’t got a buck,

in London you’re a goner.

Even London Bridge has fallen down,

and moved to Arizona,

now I know why.

And I’ll substantiate the rumor that the English sense of humor

is drier than the Texas sand.

You can put up your dukes,

and you can bet your boots

that I’m leavin’ just as fast as I can.

Chorus: I wanna go home with the armadillo

Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene

The friendliest people and the prettiest women you’ve ever


Well, it’s cold over here, and I swear

I wish they’d turn the heat on.

And where in the world is that English girl

I promised I would meet on the third floor.

And of the whole damn lot, the only friend I’ve got

is a smoke and a cheap guitar.

My mind keeps roamin’, my heart keeps longin’

to be home in a Texas bar.


Well, I decided that I’d get my cowboy hat

and go down to Marble Arch Station.

‘Cause when a Texan fancies, he’ll take his chances.

Chances will be taken, that’s for sure.

And them Limey eyes, they were eyein’ the prize

that some people call manly footwear.

And they said you’re from down South,

and when you open your mouth,

you always seem to put your foot there.

Repeat chorus till the cows come home

Read London, Part 1.

Read London, Part 2.

Read London Part 3.